


Richie's always last to know

by ragtagmatt



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Multi, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, lit rally hate myself for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21631993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragtagmatt/pseuds/ragtagmatt
Summary: i am so sorry for this this was so spontaenous holy shit. also my first fic so forgive me lmao-matt
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Richie's always last to know

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry for this this was so spontaenous holy shit. also my first fic so forgive me lmao   
> -matt

When Bev's getting ready to move all the way to Portland, packing her bags and sorting out her old clothes, she tells Bill first, then Ben, Mike, Stan, Eddie and only then does she tell Richie. 

They catch each other in a somber embrace, something that feels like a "goodbye forever, it was nice knowing you, I love you" but they promise themselves it's a "see you later, alligator" just for a long time. They separate and she wipes his cheeks with the hem of his own shirt. He lies and says that there's just something in his eye, he's not a fucking pussy. She laughs and tells him to keep the mom jokes on the down-low, god knows how angry they make Eddie and Stan, and now that she's leaving, who's going to keep him in check?

"Bill, of course. He wouldn't just abandon your legacy like that," he says. She laughs and gives him one last hug, before her aunt beckons her to come back inside, her books still need packing. They farewell and he sees her one last time next morning, when she shares a long group hug with the rest of The Losers Club, gives Bill a kiss on the cheek, and hugs Ben once more, looking into his eyes just for a bit longer than normal, looking for an answer to the universe, taking in every swirl of his iris and glint of light that lives in his soul. 

Richie doesn't think much of it at the time, but he does realise something about that moment much later in life, when Beverly no longer is a memory but rather a familiar face on the side of a billboard or on the cover of a magazine. When seeing floral summer dresses in store displays makes him feel queasy, he thinks of red hair adorning them and it only makes it worse. He ignores the feeling and brushes it off as his dislike for beige.

When Bill moves away in 1990 (his father says it's for work, but he knows that the photos of little Georgie scattered around the living room make his mother feel sick at the sight of them), he tells Mike, then Stan, Eddie, Ben and only then does he tell Richie. 

They go in for an awkward hug, which with every second feels warmer and more familiar, as if they were seven years old again, seeing each other after a week of Richie being sick with the flu.   
Bill says something along the lines of "take care of everyone, especially Stan. You know how he gets," and Richie doesn't really get it until a week later when he's hanging around with him, pretending to watch birds and teasing him about anything, really, when Stan breaks down, drops his binoculars and crumbles into Richie, like a fragile sugar cookie. 

"I miss him, I miss him so much," he sobs into Richie's shoulder and only then does he allow himself to cry too, because he also misses him. Without Bill, there's no direction or objective to their adventures, no scary stories that hit close to home, but it doesn't matter because it's the same for all of them. There are no drawings for birthdays or holidays, no comforting words when they get nightmares, despite the stutter and weird conclusions to motivational speeches. He was always bad at endings, he thinks.

He doesn't think that about Bill until much later, when Denbrough is just a last name for the author of a book he receives from one of his comedian friends on his birthday. He tries reading it, but three chapters in the main character's best friend gets cornered by a bully with a mullet and Richie gets a panic attack. He gives up, and resorts to watching a YouTube review of the book, skipping over all the parts about broken glass shards and promises a couple of kids vow to never break. He thinks the ending sucks.

When Ben moves away a year before graduation, due to his grandma getting sick in a different state, he first tells Mike, then Stan, Eddie and only then does he tell Richie. They've gone for one last swim in the quarry, all five of them, when he says he wants to give all of them some   
memorabilia to never forget him by, which Richie calls stupid, because how would he take them home, he didn't bring his backpack. But what Richie actually wanted to say, was that he'd never forget him, because how could he? 

Haystack's unforgettable, so lovable and so full of kindness it always looks like he's about to combust if he doesn't say anything nice every three minutes. But he holds his mouth shut. Ben pulls out a history book for Mike, a NKOTB cassette for Eddie, which Richie laughs hysterically at, only to get hit by Eddie once more. Ben takes out another book, this time about tropical birds and hands it to Stan. Then, when it's Richie's turn, there's a polaroid of all seven of them, huddled up on the staircase of Bill's house. Richie takes a good look at it and chokes out a tearful laugh which he tries to hide by coughing at the same time, which he doesn't succeed very well at. 

"Are you crying, Rich?" "Yeah, it's just, look how small Eddie looks in this picture. Now that I think about it, did you shrink, Spaghetti?" And then Eddie hits him with Stan's book, Stan yells at both of them, and Mike and Ben double over in laughter. Richie stuffs the polaroid in his pocket and packs it away in a box when he gets home, because it hurts too much to think about losing his friends. 

He doesn't find the picture until much later, when talking about architecture isn't boring at all, yet still rubs him in the wrong way. When hearing New Kids On The Block makes him want to scream, even though he loves the songs. He finds the old, beat up, white framed picture while moving into his new apartment LA and thinks, "maybe these kids were my neighbours or something." He gets a twisted feeling and shoves the picture back into the box it came from.

When they graduate, Stan tells that he's moving to Atlanta for college first to Eddie, then Mike and only then does he tell Richie. 

They cry a lot, because they've been best friends since they were just 4 year olds on the playground, shoving sand and dirt at each other until their parents finally noticed and tried their best to seperate them, only for them to start crying and having tantrums. 

They watch action movies and bird documentaries from Blockbuster Video (yes, Derry has a Blockbuster) and they eat popcorn and candy until they nearly burst and then they cry a bit again. 

"I promise I'll write and call, Richie," Stan says seriously, and Richie is trying so hard not to comment about his mom, but he remains serious and nods, before asking "Ok, but you better. Don't pussy out like Bill, Bev and Ben. I can even write my number down again for you." So, he writes his number on Stan's hand in permanent marker and gives him one last hug before Stan says he has to go back home and finish clearing out his old room.

And Richie focuses on the way his curls fall down on his forehead and he wishes that he could just go back to '89, way before Beverly left, suitcase gripped so tight her knuckles went pale as paper, when Bill still told all those ghost stories, which Stan clearly hated but still stayed listening to so he could just insult his endings once more and when Ben still looked at someone like she was his lifeline, instead of writing the same poem on the back of his notes all over and over again, in hopes of her calling or sending a measly old letter, in hopes of him not forgetting her. 

But Richie doesn't have a time machine, he's not that smart or rich for it, so instead, he smiles at Stan and says he'll see him soon. He doesn't, but when he's all grown up, he looks at birds and can tell exactly what type they are, and he goes to all the Bat Mitzvahs of his friends' children. They don't make him feel particularly good, but he can't just not go and he doesn't know why.

When Eddie decides he's had enough, he first tells Mike. Only then does he tell Richie. 

He shows up at Richie's door at eleven in the evening, four weeks after Stan leaving. He has a backpack on, two suitcases with him and he's crying. Richie's about to ask what's wrong, when he blurts out "I'm leaving, Rich." And Richie is completely speechless, maybe for the second time in his life. 

"Aren't you going to say something, asshole?" It's raining outside, quite hard, yet Eddie seems so determined to be walking to the bus stop at this hour. He thinks that it's ironic how both he and Bill seem to lose the people they love most to the rain, but then mentally slaps himself because this is nothing like Georgie. 

He'll still visit Eddie. Wherever he is. Right? But in the back of his head he knows that's not true, because he hasn't even heard from Beverly, Bill, Ben and Stan once, despite making them swear that they'll call. He thinks that maybe, once you leave Derry, you forget about your friends. So instead, Richie opens the door a bit wider and lets his Eds Spageds fall into his arms one last time. 

He holds him and he cries too, because he realizes how it's like a pile of bricks, heavy and dense and hard (remembering that he is in love). He hates himself because he realizes that this is too late. He missed his chance. His star eyed, hot headed, chocolate haired boy is leaving and he can't stop him because he knows why he's leaving. He doesn't even ask. He knows Sonia's been threatening Eddie, manipulating him, making him stay with her. 

So he takes his face in his hands, takes a good look at his eyes, like they're the answer to everything he's ever asked and he presses his lips against Eddie's, like he's begging him to stay with him, no matter how depressing it gets and how hard it rains. Eddie hears his pleas but tells him by cupping his face in his hands that this is goodbye, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. He pulls back, steps away, bags in tow, and he leaves. 

Much later, when pharmacies make Richie itch with anxiety and when he asks his manager to get him an inhaler, even though he has never had asthma, he thinks of soft, fast talking lips and tears and he has to run to the bathroom, because suddenly he feels sick. He searches through his medicine cabinet, despite not having anything in there and he cries.

When it's time for Richie to leave, 6 months after Eddie, he first tells Mike and only then does he-

He breaks down. He says he's sorry to Mike like 15 times and that he wishes he didn't have to leave but it just hurts so much to stay in an empty town like this. Mike assures him, "don't worry about it. I have my company right here." He points to a sheep that's eating grass in a field and a broken laugh escapes Richie. "Come with me, Mike. You always said you wanted to go to Florida, right? We can go look at old people and shit, I don't know," Richie proposes, but Mike shoots it down quickly. "I can't. This is my home, Rich. I'll call you, though. We'll still talk, you don't have to worry."

So Richie doesn't, or at least tries not to. Up until he's far out of his hometown, he tries not to worry. But then he slowly starts forgetting the names of the streets, the arcade, the grocery store, the people and he also forgets to worry. 

Twenty two years pass and he doesn't worry. Except for when someone offers him to eat lamb, or sheep and he excuses himself to the bathroom, because he suddenly feels lightheaded and dizzy. He doesn't worry except for when someone calls a man a racial slur and he can't take it, he starts having a panic attack. He doesn't worry at all until right before a show, when an unknown number from Derry calls and tells him that he has to come back, that they all have to come back. 

And then he worries. 

He goes back and he sees Beverly, and remembers the way she looked at Ben, so he looks over to Eddie. And he looks at him the same way. Then he sees Bill, and he hears him saying something about Stan, but Stan didn't show up so he ignores it. He wishes he were here so he'd remember what Bill said to him better. He sees Ben and thinks about how he forgot him, so he takes him in once again, promises himself "never again". He doesn't see Stan. "He's not gonna show up, he's a pussy," just like how he was a pussy for not calling him. He sees Eddie and remembers him kissing him once, but he figures it's just some fantasy from when he was a kid so he ignores it. Eddie ignores it too. They're just happy to see eachother again. He looks at Mike and he remembers him saying that he'd call. He did. 22 years too late, but Richie still appreciates it. He did better than the rest. 

They find out Stan's dead. Richie wishes he would've called.

And then they go to kill the clown. The fucking clown. He calls It a sloppy bitch, says a fucking Die Hard reference and gets trapped in the Deadlights. Eddie drives a fence post into Pennywise's face and looks Richie in the eyes, just like how he did 22 years ago and then they both remember how it was to fall in love and they're so in love and they love each other so much they'd die for each other.

So Eddie dies for Richie. And it seems like he first tells Beverly, then Bill, Ben, Stan, Mike and only then does he tell Richie. 

Richie's always last to know.


End file.
